Another Spin

Where to Draw the Line

2008-08-30T14:54:00.003-04:00

It's been awhile I'm afraid. Not that I haven't had things to say, but finding the time, and a reliable internet connection has really cut back my posts. And honestly, things aren't much different now than they were a few months ago. Most girls will stab you in the back if they are given half a chance. Most guys will sleep with you and tell all of their friends. People will talk, even if what they are saying isn't true. But, despite all that, I have managed to find some true friends. People who do have my back. It seems, first impressions are definitely not always accurate.

So now, after reevaluating my opinions and views of the people around me, I find myself with a dilemma. I've been "The Other Woman" a few times, a few times too many. But never where an actual marriage was involved. In this life I'm currently living, where long distance is the name of the game, is crossing that line allowed? I used to live a very black and white life of right and wrong. I live in grey now. But even so, I'm not sure what to do here. Most would say, run away, as fast as you can. I'm pretty sure I don't have the guts to go through with it. Pretty sure.

Wuthering Heights

2008-07-03T15:32:00.001-04:00

I got back from work to find a book in a plastic bag on my bed.

Must be my roommate’s.

I opened the bag and found Wuthering Heights.

Definitely NOT my roommate’s. She doesn’t even read.

I went down the hall to Erin’s room.

Did you get me a book at the mall?

No, why?

Someone got me Wuthering Heights.

It didn’t take me long to figure out who it was from. The only person it could be, the only one I had spoken to about Wuthering Heights, and literature in general, Ben, my co-worker and next door neighbor.

He is so unpredictable. He barely speaks to some of us, is currently seeing another girl after hours, has really dorky habits, always does favors for me, and apparently, buys me Wuthering Heights, arguably one of the most romantic and tragic books in English Literature, then denies he did it.

I still can’t believe it. But it makes me smile when I think about it. It’s always nice to be thought of when you aren’t there. And presents are always nice, especially from cute boys. I could get used to finding surprises on my bed.

Wake Up Call

2008-04-27T22:21:00.003-04:00

What do you get when you take me, a bottle of rum (of which, I drank half), and then throw Alex into the mix? Frankly, a whole lot of trouble I really wasn't prepared for. We were making out before we even made it to the bar. I'd be lying if I said I could remember all of it. It's pretty fuzzy. And I don't even know what charming thing he said that made me WANT to kiss him. There must have been something. But again, I don't really remember. In fact, this is the second time in a matter of weeks where I was so drunk I couldn't even decide to kiss or not to kiss. And that's not like me.

I'm a firm believer that drinking alcohol, even large quantities of it, is not an excuse for doing what you know you shouldn't be doing. The time in New York, I really didn't end up doing anything too scandalous, and in the end, had enough sense to go home and not home with the guy. But the other night with Alex didn't end so simply.

I'm feeling pretty disappointed with myself. I really thought, going into that night, that I'd be able to resist whatever tact he chose to try and tempt me. I really thought I was done being THAT girl. Karma is a bitch, an absolute bitch. And I think I've got years and years of being cheated on in the future, because I am ALWAYS, ALWAYS the other woman. Always.

I thought that night, that the worst that could happen would be me drunk dialing someone who is clearly giving me little to no thought. And that it would be embarrassing in the end. Instead, I ran off with Alex and I can barely remember a good portion of it. My friends weren't even all that surprised that it happened. It's like they know me better than I do.

I'm dreading seeing him this week. Absolutely dreading it. We've known each other for almost a decade and I think he's pretty sure that this is the week I'll finally sleep with him. But what he doesn't know is that I won't. I absolutely won't. I won't drink and I won't do anything stupid. Because the other night is probably the first time I've ever regretted being with him. I've spent the past decade never doing anything I didn't want to do, but the other night, I don't feel like I was capable of making a decision and that's scary.

I need to stop drinking so much that I can't remember and can't make decisions. And soon, when I start my new job, that's going to be really important. I also need to do what I can to make sure that I'm not THAT girl. I don't owe anything to Alex's girlfriend, but I do owe something to myself. No woman deserves to be the OTHER woman.

The Men

2008-04-25T00:06:00.004-04:00

Although I'm 25 and theoretically could have slept with half the country by now, there remain only a handful of guys who have had a lasting effect on my development.

One, Jake, my non boyfriend from high school, and a little dalliance in college, and also this summer. He has been there, somewhere, usually in the background, for the last ten years of my life.

Two, Alex, my non boyfriend from college. He slept with everyone, except me, because I wouldn't let him, despite all his charms. And that killed him. If there is one thing I've learned from my experience with Jake and Alex, it's that when a guy doesn't really love you, the quickest way to get rid of him is to sleep with him. And if you don't, he'll be there forever.

Alex is still around, whereas Jake has finally moved on. I'll let you do the math.

And third, there is Aidan, my first non-non boyfriend. My first everything really.

There are others, mostly one night drunken fumbles. But recently I've been thinking about how my relationship with Alex in college has possibly effected my behavior more than I realize. Alex was the guy that wanted to be a lover, wanted to do the pleasing (and then go love and please someone else).

And at nineteen, I didn't know a lot, but I knew that those things should be a two way street. So, with all of his skill and practice, I never let him truly please me. It was a power struggle, almost a game. I know part of me wanted the player to get played. There was a night when I decided that I was done with him--he got so upset, he fell down the stairs trying to get me to stay.

I know I felt powerful then. Like I had turned the tables. And even now, I know he'd cheat on his girlfriend if I'd let him. But I'm not nineteen anymore, and there's really no chance of that. I don't want a part of it.

But what I'm wondering is this: back then, all those years ago, did I somehow distance myself from sex and the emotion and feelings that go along with it? And if so, is that why I have not problems exactly, but issues with it now? Have I somehow made it all about power and not about love? And have I become a little more like Alex himself. I mean, not by numbers of conquests, but have I become the lover, the pleaser, the impervious one? And if so, what will it take to change that?

Lesser of Two Evils

2008-04-21T23:56:00.002-04:00

I don't know which is worse:
Not getting a response to a message, or
Getting a 5-6 word response.

When I was in high school, my non-boyfriend went off to college and started up emailing me, presumably to keep the option open, should he come home on a slow weekend. Things progressed and eventually he was signing off with "love". Now to a naive seventeen year old, that's a pretty big deal. And ever since then, I've paid attention to how people end their emails. I don't know if that's common or uncommon, it's just what I do--and I especially take notice if the sign off changes as time goes by. Eventually, of course, the "love" dropped off the end of the emails and then, the emails too, dropped. Such is life at seventeen.

Or apparently at 25. Not that there was "love". But there were "xo's" and "miss you's" and other such nonsense. And there were also timely responses, and that was when he was also traveling!

I conclude that for basically the first time in my entire life, I went for it, all in, consequences be damned, and I ended up no better than all the girls I've tried my entire life not to be.

Part of me wants to call and talk and clear the air. But I'm not sure I'd be able to make it anything except a conversation about nothing. And then the sensible part of me knows that if his last message meant anything, it was that we meant nothing--at least now that the moment is over.

I'm trying so hard not to reply. I don't know if I'll succeed.

Up On A Wall

2008-04-18T23:24:00.003-04:00

Tonight I found myself in the town's high school auditorium. A place in which I spent a good portion of my high school career. It's just the same. In the lobby, on the cement wall, is our wall of, well, fame, I guess. Any success story from our school--there aren't many--has a photo, or a plaque, or some memento.

Up there, with a bunch of movie posters from the one girl that made it big so many many years ago, are plaques engraved with each years' talents. The ones that worked so hard for so little reward. And tonight, looking at those plaques, I found my name. Honestly, I'd forgotten it was there.

It's amazing what a bit of engraving can do to the self esteem. To know my name is on that wall makes me remember where I was so many years ago. Before college, before my travels. I remember my potential and above all, my dreams, what I thought I would do. I'm not eighteen any more, and I'm certainly not where I thought I'd be a quarter through my life. Today, I've got great dreams, great opportunities, great friends, and my name on a wall. Tomorrow, who knows?

Compliments

2008-04-16T22:48:00.004-04:00

Most guys tend to think that if you call a somewhat attractive woman (which is exactly what I think I am) beautiful, she'll probably be more willing to sleep with them. Maybe it's the guys I knew growing up, but when a guy tells me I'm beautiful, it pretty much does one thing: makes me suspicious. Beautiful is not the compliment I want to hear, what does it really mean? "You look really good, and because of that, I want to be with you." Woo! Hooray for me.

No, beautiful is not what I want to hear. Instead, call me an artist, call me talented, and most importantly, mean it. Be impressed by what I can do, what I can make, not by what dna made.

A man I view as extremely talented recently told me about our first meeting and his impression of me.
"I thought you were an art girl. Talented. I didn't think you'd be interested in me."

"An 'Art girl' is exactly what I wish I was."

And after that, of course I kissed him. How could I not? It's one thing for people to see your outsides. It's another for them to not only see your insides, but see them as YOU want them to be seen, hope them to be seen. I'll give the other girls, "beautiful" and keep "artist".

Bad Girl

2008-04-16T22:17:00.003-04:00

The last week has been a whirlwind of crazy, complete chaos and above all, spontaneity. And I loved nearly every minute of it, most I can remember, a few are a bit fuzzy. I feel like something snapped a bit in my brain and I almost wasn't me anymore. I don't know if it was a permanent tweak, or just a temporary one, and quite honestly, I'm a little scared to find out.

I've always been such a good girl. Painfully but also realistically good. I'm no nun, no stereotype. But by society's standards I've spent the first quarter of my life playing it safe. Really, really safe.

Which is why, when I woke up the other morning and remembered the shocking things I had done the previous night, after drinking more than I needed to, I was highly amused. I giggled to Charlotte about all the uncharacteristic things I had done. Then later, I started to get embarrassed. Mostly because most of the guys I was with didn't know me very well. And while I don't mind being thought of as wild, or fun, and just a little bad, there are so many negative words for the type of girl who pulls a guy into a dark corner of a bar for a little making out. And I am not those words.

The Luxury of Leisure

2008-04-07T23:05:00.003-04:00

So, he doesn't actually HAVE my phone number, though he COULD have gotten it with only a little embarrassment. And to be fair, I could have gotten his number in exactly the same way. But I decided to be sneaky instead and now we're exchanging messages online--the old fashioned way--with Myspace. I am clearly twelve years old.

But basically I've been obsessing over something completely meaningless, mostly because I'm bored. Completely utterly bored, waiting for my job to start. And he, he is in a different city (possibly with a different girl) every day. And I'm not even exaggerating here. He is literally in a different city every single day. I'm only guessing about the girls.

When I start work, this leisurely time obsessing over a meaningless boy will probably seem like a time of luxury. Until then, I'll continue to check Myspace repeatedly throughout the day, cursing people who actually have lives and aren't sending me messages.

Funny

2008-04-05T21:20:00.002-04:00

He told me I was funny.
He was glad I came.
Then in the darkness, he softly touched my hand.
And I felt more fire than I have in a long, long time.
I'm pretty sure he won't call.

Working on V-Day

2008-02-14T22:50:00.003-05:00

Carrie and I were talking by the register instead of doing work when an older gentleman came walking by.

man: Wouldn't you girls rather be home with your husbands getting flowers than getting $20 an hour working.

carrie: We don't get $20 and hour.

me: And we don't have husbands.

Turns out older gentleman has been married to his wife for sixty years. I guess he must be doing something right. I had to work in the jewelry counter today for the first time in ages. All the men and their last minute gifts, and the women who had to buy their own gemstones. I don't know, I think I'd rather get jewelry (or flowers or whatever) on any other day besides Valentine's day, but maybe that's just me.

in Philly they call me "baby"

2008-01-23T21:53:00.001-05:00

Me:"I'm from Iowa, I should be used to it."
Hotel Shuttle Driver: "Baby, I don't care where you from. Cold is cold."

Note to Self

2008-01-13T09:54:00.000-05:00

Multiple long island iced teas after a dinner of an Auntie Anne's pretzel is never a good idea.

drink'n'text

2008-01-09T15:14:00.000-05:00

(Them) 11:03pm est: What u doin
(Them) 11:10pm est: At sparkle bar.

(Me) 11:46pm est (6:46 Hawaii time): In Hawaii. See you next week.

The three stooges must have been bored. We only keep them around cause they are funny. And maybe we're a little bored too.

Torn

2008-01-09T15:03:00.000-05:00

I don't think I ever realized how hard it would be to come back to America after three years away. Not emotionally or anything like that, I mean professionally. Where the hell are the jobs? I don't really regret anything in my past, but boy I wish I had been smarter about choosing a major in college. And not only that, but, been a bit more realistic. I need a job, but I think I also need another adventure. Last month, I almost became a flight attendant. Almost, because I didn't get the job. It would have been the perfect career move for me, and I still don't understand how I didn't get it. It was extremely competitive and I think maybe I was just under the cut.

Moving on. I've found a few new possibilities in the last few days, so hopefully something pans out. I just can't see a reason for me to be working at the store. I mean, in the grand scheme of things. Clearly I need money, and that's why I'm working there. But if everything you do in life prepares you for something else, I just don't see what the store can do for my future. Unless it's to teach me humility.....

In any case, I'll be back in town tomorrow and then off to work on Friday and the store will have to be my life for awhile longer.

Openings

2008-01-06T23:02:00.000-05:00

Kate and I have a to-do list for the year. In no particular order:
-new jobs
-new city
-new men
-new house

I have no idea where I'll be a year from now. But I'm open to suggestions.

Taking What I Can Get

2007-12-30T03:23:00.000-05:00

For me, holidays at home mean one thing: drinking at the local bar. Classy, I know. But there is only so much family togetherness I can take. Of course I only go out if I can find some of my high school gals to go with. Out at the bar right after Christmas or Thanksgiving is basically like a bad high school reunion. You never see the people you want to.

In high school, I wasn't popular, and I wasn't uncool, I wasn't a nerd or a jock, I wasn't pretty or hideous, I wasn't fat, but I certainly wasn't skinny! And that is why, perhaps, I take a sick twisted delight in playing the game, "which skinny popular girl has gained the most weight?" I know, I'm awful. But I can't help it.

Sitting in the bar with my friends, I say, "You know, I'm glad I looked the way I did in High school. There was nowhere to go but up!"

Totally Freaked Out.

2007-12-23T00:28:00.000-05:00

Last week, Kate dated a guy who ended up to probably be a homeless alcoholic. This week, I've got a guy who has turned out to be un-happily married, wanting me to spare him an hour of my time. Un-happily married, with children. He came to see me at work tonight--twice. I don't even know what else to say, except that I'm totally freaked out.

Where's the f'ing window?

2007-12-21T17:30:00.000-05:00

Well, the campaigns don't want me, and worse, the people in Atlanta don't want me either. I would have been freaking perfect for that job. But it's not to be. I can't even begin to understand why I didn't get it. My interview was fantastic, my resume is perfect for it. But I'm not what they're looking for. Well merry Christmas to you, too. One more door closed. Please don't tell me that going from seasonal to permanent at the store is my window. If it is, I might just jump.

In 9 hours

2007-12-18T00:26:00.001-05:00

In 9 hours I'll be on a plane to Atlanta for an afternoon of interviews and such. They want me there for 5 hours. Ouch. I guess it makes sense though. You are free to guess at what jobs would require such a long interview process. I THINK I'll know if I made it at the end of the day, but I could be wrong.

I'll get back late tomorrow night, but then have to be at work at 7am. I couldn't have gotten a worse schedule for this. I think it'll be worth it though. I just wish my Japanese was better. That's the only thing I'm worried about. Time for a few hours of sleep.

On a Whim

2007-12-12T23:03:00.000-05:00

I applied for a job last night on a whim. And then, when I made it past the preliminary screenings and such, I giggled to myself about it, with no one to giggle with. Kate is gone for a few days. And then today, they told me to call for an interview, and I made it through that and now I get to go and interview in person.

This job would be p-e-r-f-e-c-t. PERFECT. Well, perfect for me. And, even better, it would give a whole new meaning to my name, Another Spin. But I'm not going to tell you what it is just yet. I'm going to giggle to myself about it for a bit longer. But please, wish me luck.

Deep Thoughts on Old Navy

2007-12-12T22:59:00.000-05:00

They kept airing an Old Navy commercial during America's Next Top Model tonight. Men, Women and Children, cozied up in their winter wear. And then the girl, in the sweater boots, a long sleeved shirt, and nothing but her undies. Wha??? Is it hot or cold? I'm confused. Who wears sweater boots and forgets her pants?

Plummeting

2007-12-09T23:19:00.000-05:00

Pittsburgh is not my city for meeting men, just like Japan wasn't my country for meeting men. Now I've never had a problem in New York City, for example, or the U.K., my god, London....sigh. But Pittsburgh is absolutely crushing my self esteem. Kate and I go to the bars and the guys that talk to us, talk to her. And want her number. And go out on dates with her. And I stand there and try to look like I don't care.

What really gets me is I've finally begun to come to terms with how I look and to even LIKE how I look. I'm tall, and curvy, with a pretty nice rack, lets be honest. Blue eyes and a pretty, if not beautiful face. I'd give myself a conservative 7.5. But I think the men of Pittsburgh disagree.

Last night we got home, and I was depressed, and well, again, lets be honest, jealous. She finally met a guy, who she could maybe date. I've wanted that for her for a long time. But now I'll be the one staying home with the dog in a city where I know no one. While she is out on dates with him. So yes, I'm feeling a bit under appreciated in Pittsburgh right now. Just a bit.

Self-Esteem

2007-11-29T20:00:00.000-05:00

The last time I saw my cousin Kelly, she wasn't dating anyone. She'd been working really hard with school and career, and honestly, she hadn't been taking care of herself. And she said to me, "You know, I don't think I'd WANT to find someone right now, who'd love me like THIS. THIS isn't what I really am, or what I want to be." And I guess, I found that a little strange. I thought that I'd want a guy who had seen me at my worst AND at my best, and loved both.

Now that I work at the store, it really is the lowest point for me career-wise, ever. And yeah, I'm only 25, I guess it could get even worse someday. But seriously, it embarrasses me to have to tell people what I do. And I guess that's my own personal issue. But when you go from, "Oh, I live in Japan and teach English," to "Oh, I work at the store," you are bound to feel a little disappointed by the current state of affairs. Or you are, if you are me.

It's funny though. Kate has the opposite problem. She's embarrassed by being too accomplished. She does everything she can so that people don't immediately know what she does for a job. I mean, it's got to be a crushing blow to the male ego if he can't understand what his potential girlfriend does for a living. I get that, but then again, I'd rather she strove to find a guy that understood what she does and loves her the more for being so intelligent. Too bad I can't want the same, albeit in reverse, for myself.

On Internet Dating

2007-11-29T19:54:00.000-05:00

I answered an ad from Craigslist. I was looking at the job listings, and then I looked at the events and such in the area, and then I checked out the personals. And there was a guy who sounded too good to be true. He probably is.

Anyway, I sent a response and a photo. A recent photo where I'm actually wearing make-up and looking pretty good. And he replied. Now what?

So he is moving here soon and wants a girl to go out with, drink some wine, have some food, you know. And for some reason, to me, meeting a guy from the internet for a drink is a way different thing than going out with a random guy you've met at the bar. It's way scarier and it really shouldn't be. I mean there are creeps at the bar and on the internet, and well, everywhere else for that matter. And there are good people too. My brother met his wife on the internet. I've always found that funny, now look at me.

I assume he got some other responses, and maybe in the end he won't even want to meet me. I know what thing, I'll be completely honest the whole way through. What's the use in lying to someone who doesn't know me and I may never meet. I've got nothing to lose.

How TO pick up a 25 year old woman

2007-11-19T12:05:00.000-05:00

Alone at the table, with Kate off somewhere, the bartender (45-ish, grey hair, but not terrible) stops at my side.

"I just wanted to say that you and your friend are really beautiful women. I'm the bartender, I'm not trying to hit on you."

And then I said thank you and he walked away. And I sat there smiling to myself.

How NOT to pick up a 25 year old.

2007-11-19T11:53:00.000-05:00

Dear drunk middle-aged men:
When you are at a bar, drunk, and you want to talk to a young, attractive woman, do not tell her to "Come here." And when she says, quite rightly, "No." Do not tell her she is mean. She is not mean. If you want to talk to young women you should get up off your bar stool, if you can still stand, and walk over to said woman like gentlemen. And if, after a few minutes, she is being polite but short, maybe you should keep on walking.

Sincerely,
the attractive woman's friend

Big Dreams

2007-11-15T22:39:00.000-05:00

We go out most Thursdays for Martinis. Tonight was no exception. And most nights, after one or two, we start to ponder what we should do with our lives. And not only that, but how we'll make our mark on the world. I'm still trying to get through October's Vanity Fair, and in it, they have a listing of the New Establishment, the world's movers and shakers. We are searching for our great idea. The thing that will put Kate and I on the New, New, New Establishment list.

And all we need is the idea. We've got the brains, the determination, the ability. We can get the money. But we need the idea, and without it, we've got very little indeed.

The Friend

2007-11-15T22:29:00.000-05:00

I'm feeling a bit under appreciated by the guys in Pittsburgh. Every time Kate and I go out, the only guys that talk to us are old. But then, also, they don't talk to us, they talk to her, and because I happen to be standing there too, me, the friend. Even the 40 year old (or in tonight's case, 60 year old) men don't want to talk to me. What gives?

I can't figure it out, I mean, I'm tall, maybe too tall? Maybe my hair is too dark?

And I know, really, as I told Kate tonight, we need to suck it up and start making a move. We stood in a bar tonight while a nearly 50 man, and a 60+ man chatted us up, meanwhile two guys in their twenties sat at the bar, turning around occasionally to watch the scene. Any guys, if you ever read this, if you ever see something like that happen, go in and break it up, I promise, the girls will thank you for it.

So my self esteem is taking a hit right now. Between the job, my credit card debt, my lack of a social life, and the boy situation, I'm not feeling especially successful. Maybe it shows, and that's why the guys leave me alone. Could be.

Tinsel Town

2007-11-09T23:57:00.000-05:00

If it's shady, we can just get a drink and leave.

We were hungry, but as we walked into the Christmas light covered bar, we wondered what would be waiting on the other side of the door. We found out soon enough--more Christmas lights. And, for that matter, Christmas ornaments and wrapping paper and popcorn strings. It was like we were inside the Christmas tree, looking out.

At our table, we sipped our drinks and ate our food and checked out the crowd. While we may have given up on our former downtown bar, we're still single 25 girls, we can't help but look over our options. There weren't any.

In fact, the bar was filled mostly with women. Single women. In their forties. We wondered at the group. We could safely assume that most of the men and women had at one time or another been married. And now, presumably, they were single. And out at the bar on Friday night looking for what exactly? And as we sat there, a thought occurred to Kate: I don't want to be doing this when I'm forty.

It's really the type of thing I did in college, and enjoyed. Go out with the girls, dance, drink, maybe make-out with some guy. Good times. And while Kate never really liked doing those things even when we were young enough to get away with it, I'm going to have to agree with her on one thing: I don't want to be sitting at the bar looking at every man's left hand every Friday night when I'm forty either.

Despite looking into a mirror of "what might come to be," the bar, to be known as Tinsel Town, was an absolute blast, with karaoke and cheap food and drinks. With some friends, it would be absolutely amazing. No pretensions, just twinkle lights and Jonny Cash. If anyone comes to visit, that's where we are going.

Search and Destroy

2007-11-05T11:27:00.000-05:00

I'm 25. Sometime in the last few years, grey hair started growing into my lovely dark brown hair. Well, lovely is debatable, but I love being a brunette and always have. I'm pale with blue eyes, but I just know I'd look funny as a blond. But if this grey hair thing continues, I may have to look into going lighter, way lighter. That, or I'm going to need a wig after I pull out all of my hair. What I really need is to be making enough money that I can afford routine hair maintenance.

Ms. Enforcer

2007-10-31T16:02:00.000-04:00

Today is my first day off since Saturday. I think I've made the most of it. At 8am I woke to the sound of construction on the apartment below. Of course they chose my day off. Then around 10, I went out in an attempt to find the nearest Steve and Barry's. I didn't have to turn around at all! It was in this kind of ghetto strip mall, but was fine inside. I even ran into one of my co-workers, small world. Or maybe just small city. Anyway, I bought tons of clothes and an impromptu Halloween costume to wear as I sit in the apartment tonight. It's a t-shirt that looks like a sheriff shirt, and the name tag on it says Ms. Enforcer. Classy, I know.

So my big Halloween plans include watching Wednesday night TV and answering the door for Trick or Treaters. I don't think I've ever stayed home on Halloween. We definitely need more friends here. Will put socializing on my t0-do list. So yeah, Happy Halloween.

Your Move

2007-10-28T00:32:00.000-04:00

We've developed a routine. Thursdays: Martinis. Fridays: Bar downtown. Saturdays: Club on the Strip, if we have the energy. Last Friday at the bar, we had our pick of the over 40 crowd. Woooee! How DID we get so lucky? But as the bar cleared out and my crush for the evening stayed far, far away, it wasn't so bad to have some guys to laugh with, and the free drink was especially nice. I mean, honestly. If you are a forty-something trying to get into the good graces of a twenty-something woman who, quite honestly is at least a 7.8 (as both Kate and I are), don't you think you ought to at least by them a drink or two??

But that was last week. Yesterday, we were basically ignored all night. With two exceptions. First, the guy who came over to talk to us, all by himself. Ok, great, I commend your courage. But what can TWO girls do with ONE guy? Where, oh where is your wingman?? Second, the two not bad looking guys who decided to stand nearly directly behind us and stay there. Now, perhaps they were waiting for the "go ahead" from us to make their move, but seriously! Shit or get off the pot, fellas.

I can't say we left the bar in high spirits. And tonight, we couldn't bring ourselves to go to the club. In all fairness, I worked today and will work tomorrow. But then again, I think it may be time to change our weekend routine. I'm entertaining suggestions.

Jewelry and Mattresses

2007-10-26T15:33:00.001-04:00

This morning I was unemployed. After basically three months to the day, I've found a job. At a store. In a mall. Selling, get this: Jewelry AND Mattresses. So I can be more versatile and have more hours.

Now, on the surface, Mattresses and Jewelry may not seem like they go together, but OH! do they! I mean think about it. Guy gives girl a beautiful gold necklace, girl then, possibly, tries out guy's mattress. Hey, it happens.

So I got home and emailed the people in NYC to see about the job I actually wanted. I didn't get it. Go figure. It's fine though. It wouldn't pay enough to really get the benefits of living in the city. And Kate would be terribly sad to see me go so soon.

Anyway, so I went in for an interview and walked out with a job two hours later.

Martini Thursday

2007-10-25T18:24:00.001-04:00

Back in Iowa, we had Martini Monday, it had a much nicer ring to it, and it was cheaper. But here I am in Pittsburgh, and up the road is a local restaurant with Martini Thursday. And honestly, knowing it's coming is what gets me through the long boring week to the weekend. Pathetic, I know, but there it is.

So, tonight, for the third week in a row, Kate and I will sit in the bar and drink martinis. Only this week, we'll attempt to make friends with the bartender. There aren't enough B-people in our lives right now, but we'll try to take care of that.

I Give The Globe Another Spin

2007-10-25T16:40:00.000-04:00

I had time to kill
One day in Alaska
I walked around until
I found the arts and crafts shop
I bought you a card
I don't know where to send it
I wrote it from the heart
I'm not sure how to end it

I'm wondering where you've been
And if I'll see you again
I give the globe another spin
All this time I'm wonderin'
Give the globe another spin
Are you in....Berlin?
(Another Spin - Barenaked Ladies)

Whenever my friends talk to me on myspace or facebook, the first thing they often ask is, "Where are you?"

Well, right now, I'm in Pittsburgh. Before this, I was in New York City, and upstate New York, and Wisconsin, and Iowa, and before that, Japan. And next week, I might be in New York City again, for all I know.

Leaving Japan was the first time in my life when I didn't know what came next. I still don't. So I'm here, at a friend's apartment, we'll call her Kate, for all future reference. She's letting me stay with her because I help with the dog while she's gone and I'm pretty fun to be around too. In all honesty, I'm pretty sure she's the only person in the world that thinks I'm funny.

Anyway, hello out there world.