Funny

He told me I was funny.
He was glad I came.
Then in the darkness, he softly touched my hand.
And I felt more fire than I have in a long, long time.
I'm pretty sure he won't call.

Working on V-Day

Carrie and I were talking by the register instead of doing work when an older gentleman came walking by.

man: Wouldn't you girls rather be home with your husbands getting flowers than getting $20 an hour working.

carrie: We don't get $20 and hour.

me: And we don't have husbands.

Turns out older gentleman has been married to his wife for sixty years. I guess he must be doing something right. I had to work in the jewelry counter today for the first time in ages. All the men and their last minute gifts, and the women who had to buy their own gemstones. I don't know, I think I'd rather get jewelry (or flowers or whatever) on any other day besides Valentine's day, but maybe that's just me.

in Philly they call me "baby"

Me:"I'm from Iowa, I should be used to it."
Hotel Shuttle Driver: "Baby, I don't care where you from. Cold is cold."

Note to Self

Multiple long island iced teas after a dinner of an Auntie Anne's pretzel is never a good idea.

drink'n'text

(Them) 11:03pm est: What u doin
(Them) 11:10pm est: At sparkle bar.

(Me) 11:46pm est (6:46 Hawaii time): In Hawaii. See you next week.

The three stooges must have been bored. We only keep them around cause they are funny. And maybe we're a little bored too.

Torn

I don't think I ever realized how hard it would be to come back to America after three years away. Not emotionally or anything like that, I mean professionally. Where the hell are the jobs? I don't really regret anything in my past, but boy I wish I had been smarter about choosing a major in college. And not only that, but, been a bit more realistic. I need a job, but I think I also need another adventure. Last month, I almost became a flight attendant. Almost, because I didn't get the job. It would have been the perfect career move for me, and I still don't understand how I didn't get it. It was extremely competitive and I think maybe I was just under the cut.

Moving on. I've found a few new possibilities in the last few days, so hopefully something pans out. I just can't see a reason for me to be working at the store. I mean, in the grand scheme of things. Clearly I need money, and that's why I'm working there. But if everything you do in life prepares you for something else, I just don't see what the store can do for my future. Unless it's to teach me humility.....

In any case, I'll be back in town tomorrow and then off to work on Friday and the store will have to be my life for awhile longer.

Openings

Kate and I have a to-do list for the year. In no particular order:
-new jobs
-new city
-new men
-new house


I have no idea where I'll be a year from now. But I'm open to suggestions.

Taking What I Can Get

For me, holidays at home mean one thing: drinking at the local bar. Classy, I know. But there is only so much family togetherness I can take. Of course I only go out if I can find some of my high school gals to go with. Out at the bar right after Christmas or Thanksgiving is basically like a bad high school reunion. You never see the people you want to.

In high school, I wasn't popular, and I wasn't uncool, I wasn't a nerd or a jock, I wasn't pretty or hideous, I wasn't fat, but I certainly wasn't skinny! And that is why, perhaps, I take a sick twisted delight in playing the game, "which skinny popular girl has gained the most weight?" I know, I'm awful. But I can't help it.

Sitting in the bar with my friends, I say, "You know, I'm glad I looked the way I did in High school. There was nowhere to go but up!"

Totally Freaked Out.

Last week, Kate dated a guy who ended up to probably be a homeless alcoholic. This week, I've got a guy who has turned out to be un-happily married, wanting me to spare him an hour of my time. Un-happily married, with children. He came to see me at work tonight--twice. I don't even know what else to say, except that I'm totally freaked out.

Where's the f'ing window?

Well, the campaigns don't want me, and worse, the people in Atlanta don't want me either. I would have been freaking perfect for that job. But it's not to be. I can't even begin to understand why I didn't get it. My interview was fantastic, my resume is perfect for it. But I'm not what they're looking for. Well merry Christmas to you, too. One more door closed. Please don't tell me that going from seasonal to permanent at the store is my window. If it is, I might just jump.