In 9 hours

In 9 hours I'll be on a plane to Atlanta for an afternoon of interviews and such. They want me there for 5 hours. Ouch. I guess it makes sense though. You are free to guess at what jobs would require such a long interview process. I THINK I'll know if I made it at the end of the day, but I could be wrong.

I'll get back late tomorrow night, but then have to be at work at 7am. I couldn't have gotten a worse schedule for this. I think it'll be worth it though. I just wish my Japanese was better. That's the only thing I'm worried about. Time for a few hours of sleep.

On a Whim

I applied for a job last night on a whim. And then, when I made it past the preliminary screenings and such, I giggled to myself about it, with no one to giggle with. Kate is gone for a few days. And then today, they told me to call for an interview, and I made it through that and now I get to go and interview in person.

This job would be p-e-r-f-e-c-t. PERFECT. Well, perfect for me. And, even better, it would give a whole new meaning to my name, Another Spin. But I'm not going to tell you what it is just yet. I'm going to giggle to myself about it for a bit longer. But please, wish me luck.

Deep Thoughts on Old Navy

They kept airing an Old Navy commercial during America's Next Top Model tonight. Men, Women and Children, cozied up in their winter wear. And then the girl, in the sweater boots, a long sleeved shirt, and nothing but her undies. Wha??? Is it hot or cold? I'm confused. Who wears sweater boots and forgets her pants?

Plummeting

Pittsburgh is not my city for meeting men, just like Japan wasn't my country for meeting men. Now I've never had a problem in New York City, for example, or the U.K., my god, London....sigh. But Pittsburgh is absolutely crushing my self esteem. Kate and I go to the bars and the guys that talk to us, talk to her. And want her number. And go out on dates with her. And I stand there and try to look like I don't care.

What really gets me is I've finally begun to come to terms with how I look and to even LIKE how I look. I'm tall, and curvy, with a pretty nice rack, lets be honest. Blue eyes and a pretty, if not beautiful face. I'd give myself a conservative 7.5. But I think the men of Pittsburgh disagree.

Last night we got home, and I was depressed, and well, again, lets be honest, jealous. She finally met a guy, who she could maybe date. I've wanted that for her for a long time. But now I'll be the one staying home with the dog in a city where I know no one. While she is out on dates with him. So yes, I'm feeling a bit under appreciated in Pittsburgh right now. Just a bit.

Self-Esteem

The last time I saw my cousin Kelly, she wasn't dating anyone. She'd been working really hard with school and career, and honestly, she hadn't been taking care of herself. And she said to me, "You know, I don't think I'd WANT to find someone right now, who'd love me like THIS. THIS isn't what I really am, or what I want to be." And I guess, I found that a little strange. I thought that I'd want a guy who had seen me at my worst AND at my best, and loved both.

Now that I work at the store, it really is the lowest point for me career-wise, ever. And yeah, I'm only 25, I guess it could get even worse someday. But seriously, it embarrasses me to have to tell people what I do. And I guess that's my own personal issue. But when you go from, "Oh, I live in Japan and teach English," to "Oh, I work at the store," you are bound to feel a little disappointed by the current state of affairs. Or you are, if you are me.

It's funny though. Kate has the opposite problem. She's embarrassed by being too accomplished. She does everything she can so that people don't immediately know what she does for a job. I mean, it's got to be a crushing blow to the male ego if he can't understand what his potential girlfriend does for a living. I get that, but then again, I'd rather she strove to find a guy that understood what she does and loves her the more for being so intelligent. Too bad I can't want the same, albeit in reverse, for myself.

On Internet Dating

I answered an ad from Craigslist. I was looking at the job listings, and then I looked at the events and such in the area, and then I checked out the personals. And there was a guy who sounded too good to be true. He probably is.

Anyway, I sent a response and a photo. A recent photo where I'm actually wearing make-up and looking pretty good. And he replied. Now what?

So he is moving here soon and wants a girl to go out with, drink some wine, have some food, you know. And for some reason, to me, meeting a guy from the internet for a drink is a way different thing than going out with a random guy you've met at the bar. It's way scarier and it really shouldn't be. I mean there are creeps at the bar and on the internet, and well, everywhere else for that matter. And there are good people too. My brother met his wife on the internet. I've always found that funny, now look at me.

I assume he got some other responses, and maybe in the end he won't even want to meet me. I know what thing, I'll be completely honest the whole way through. What's the use in lying to someone who doesn't know me and I may never meet. I've got nothing to lose.

How TO pick up a 25 year old woman

Alone at the table, with Kate off somewhere, the bartender (45-ish, grey hair, but not terrible) stops at my side.

"I just wanted to say that you and your friend are really beautiful women. I'm the bartender, I'm not trying to hit on you."

And then I said thank you and he walked away. And I sat there smiling to myself.

How NOT to pick up a 25 year old.

Dear drunk middle-aged men:
When you are at a bar, drunk, and you want to talk to a young, attractive woman, do not tell her to "Come here." And when she says, quite rightly, "No." Do not tell her she is mean. She is not mean. If you want to talk to young women you should get up off your bar stool, if you can still stand, and walk over to said woman like gentlemen. And if, after a few minutes, she is being polite but short, maybe you should keep on walking.

Sincerely,
the attractive woman's friend

Big Dreams

We go out most Thursdays for Martinis. Tonight was no exception. And most nights, after one or two, we start to ponder what we should do with our lives. And not only that, but how we'll make our mark on the world. I'm still trying to get through October's Vanity Fair, and in it, they have a listing of the New Establishment, the world's movers and shakers. We are searching for our great idea. The thing that will put Kate and I on the New, New, New Establishment list.

And all we need is the idea. We've got the brains, the determination, the ability. We can get the money. But we need the idea, and without it, we've got very little indeed.

The Friend

I'm feeling a bit under appreciated by the guys in Pittsburgh. Every time Kate and I go out, the only guys that talk to us are old. But then, also, they don't talk to us, they talk to her, and because I happen to be standing there too, me, the friend. Even the 40 year old (or in tonight's case, 60 year old) men don't want to talk to me. What gives?

I can't figure it out, I mean, I'm tall, maybe too tall? Maybe my hair is too dark?

And I know, really, as I told Kate tonight, we need to suck it up and start making a move. We stood in a bar tonight while a nearly 50 man, and a 60+ man chatted us up, meanwhile two guys in their twenties sat at the bar, turning around occasionally to watch the scene. Any guys, if you ever read this, if you ever see something like that happen, go in and break it up, I promise, the girls will thank you for it.

So my self esteem is taking a hit right now. Between the job, my credit card debt, my lack of a social life, and the boy situation, I'm not feeling especially successful. Maybe it shows, and that's why the guys leave me alone. Could be.