Lesser of Two Evils

I don't know which is worse:
Not getting a response to a message, or
Getting a 5-6 word response.

When I was in high school, my non-boyfriend went off to college and started up emailing me, presumably to keep the option open, should he come home on a slow weekend. Things progressed and eventually he was signing off with "love". Now to a naive seventeen year old, that's a pretty big deal. And ever since then, I've paid attention to how people end their emails. I don't know if that's common or uncommon, it's just what I do--and I especially take notice if the sign off changes as time goes by. Eventually, of course, the "love" dropped off the end of the emails and then, the emails too, dropped. Such is life at seventeen.

Or apparently at 25. Not that there was "love". But there were "xo's" and "miss you's" and other such nonsense. And there were also timely responses, and that was when he was also traveling!

I conclude that for basically the first time in my entire life, I went for it, all in, consequences be damned, and I ended up no better than all the girls I've tried my entire life not to be.

Part of me wants to call and talk and clear the air. But I'm not sure I'd be able to make it anything except a conversation about nothing. And then the sensible part of me knows that if his last message meant anything, it was that we meant nothing--at least now that the moment is over.

I'm trying so hard not to reply. I don't know if I'll succeed.